So much has changed in a year! The biggest changes are that we decided that Jennie would be the one to carry our future baby and we now know our sperm donor. It has been quite the journey full of learning and A LOT of emotion. We've tried to inseminate four times now. Twice at home with frozen sperm, once at the doctor's office with frozen sperm, and most recently at the doctor's office with fresh sperm. We've taken some breaks in between trying because of life schedules and really trying to take into account our photography business.
Our most recent experience at the doctor's office was an interesting one! We decided that the best option for our donor to make his donation would be to do it at the doctor's office. He lives an hour from our doctor's office and we live 30 minutes away so in order for those little swimmers to survive, we decided to ask our doctor's office if they ever have people donate in office. They told us it was no problem and that they could definitely do that. Well fast forward to our appointment and probably the most awkward experience of all of our lives...we showed up with our donor so that we could sign all of the legal documents and have them witnessed by a doctor and then the plan was that we would head out and return in an hour for our appointment. Sounds simple right--well it didn't quite turn out this way! The medical assistants who walked us all back to the room made everything really awkward. They were giggly and very assertive with the three of us in the room. We felt so bad/embarrased for our donor--they were talking to him like he was just some sort of sperm factory. It was really awkward.
And to top the whole thing off we all assumed he had an hour for his task and then they informed us that the washing of the sperm actually takes 45 minutes so he had 15 minutes or less to produce a sample. Holy hell! We all also kept bringing up that we needed to sign the legal paperwork, but they informed us the doctor was not available to sign it so we would have to wait. So Jennie and I were ushered out to the waiting room where we waited to sign the legal paperwork, which made things even more awkward because originally we were going to leave. Well needless to say this was a high stress, high pressure, awkward situation and thank God we have the most amazing donor who didn't just walk out of the office. We were so mortified and felt bad at how the medical assistants approached the whole thing. We just have to say our donor is a pretty amazing guy. We definitely recommend that if you're ever going to opt to have your donor make their donation in your doctor's office that you ask how often they've done that and exactly what their procedures are. We'll definitely be prepared better for the next time.
We ended up inseminating later that day and were the last folks in the office. Overall the day was pretty high stress, but we figured it would make for a funny conception story :) After the insemination we got really excited because the day that Jennie was due to start her period came and went. As each day went by we tried not to get too excited, but thought maybe this time had worked. Unfortunately though after 3 negative urine tests, a negative blood test, and the arrival of her period it was confirmed there was no baby Crate on board.
Unfortunately, it's been a year and we still don't have a baby Crate yet. I know I need to be patient and that when it's right it will happen, but it's getting harder for me with each month and with each new friend who either brings a baby into the world or announces a pregnancy. I know a year is nothing compared to other people's journey's, but reminding myself of that doesn't make it that much easier. I know in reality we've only tried 4 times and I have to be patient, but it's just so hard to wait for something that I've known I've wanted since I was young. I've always had this calling/need/passion to be a parent. I can't explain it. I just know that is my calling life.
So I continue to hope and try and keep my spirits up, but some days it's just so damn hard. We thank you all for your continued support and words of encouragement.
