Our little one went home to her family today. She lived with us for 225 days, that's a long time in the life of a 2.5 year old. We're actually doing alright today. We had a couple weeks to get used to the idea and process what was going on. I was having a really hard time with the thought that I would never see this little person ever again or know what kind of person she turns into. I'm hopeful that her family will keep in touch, but also know that we shouldn't expect that. We were all pretty prepared for this transition, she'd actually been going to be with her family 2-3 days a week for almost three months anyway. As soon as she came home from a visit last Friday she was ready to move with her family. She kept saying things like "I have to go home forever" and getting upset that she was still with us. It was sort of hard to spend our last five days together with her so ready to leave, but she seemed to be okay with us telling her that her house wasn't ready yet and they were still getting her room ready. She was really excited this morning to be going home, but we also had a nice few minutes of hugs and kisses at daycare this morning when we dropped her off.
It's definitely going to feel a bit empty here for a while until we have our next placement. We told the caseworkers that unless there is an infant that needs care, we're going to take a break until January at least.
We're officially parents now, although we're not currently parenting...kind of a strange concept. We've learned a lot over the last 225 days about ourselves, about each other, about us as a unit and what it means to be parents and have a family. I've learned that I'm actually a lot more patient with wild toddler behavior than I thought I would be. For some reason I can sit through meltdowns and freak outs and stay calm and talk them through it--here's hoping that zen continues for the next kids. I've also learned that I love having a kid. I love all of the little stuff like playing at the playground, reading books, going to the zoo, having impromptu dance parties, and cuddles, lots and lots of cuddles.
As far as our efforts to try and start our family with our donor, Jennie and I have been talking about what it would mean for me to get pregnant. I went to the reproductive endocronologist to have a bajillion tests done and it looks like I'd just need a medication to make me ovulate and then we'll continue to try at home as we had been with Jennie. However, before we start down that path I need to figure out my back pain. I have a herniated disc with a fragment torn off on my lower right side that is pushing on my nerves and causing a ton of pain down my right leg. I have a consultation for surgery on Monday and am hoping to have the surgery done before the end of the year. They just need to go in and remove the fragment that has broken off and that should get rid of the pain. Here's hoping I get that taken care of soon and we can start trying to start a family again.
Sorry it's been so long since we updated, but we'll update once we have any news on another placement.
